If you come to London and think it might perhaps be thrilling to ride a
double-decker bus, especially on the second floor, be sure you are well aware
of the safety hazards. For example, DO NOT assume that you know when the bus is
coming to a stop. Wait until the locals stand up (and hope some do) when you
come near your stop. You want to follow their lead. Otherwise, you may end up
like me: tumbling down the stairs and slamming your knee violently against the
metal banister, leaving the tame, local Brits in a state of
deer-caught-in-head-light shock not knowing what to do to help the thoroughly
clumsy, briefly shrieking, wounded American. I hope you don’t end up limping
all over the area near Westminster Abbey looking like a woman who arrived to
receive a holy healing; that was embarrassing. And no miraculous healing was to be found. Walking on flat ground was okay—doable,
but still pretty damn painful. I said Jesus’ name on several occasions. In
Westminster, that seemed okay. I thought I might be thrown out of Harrods because I looked so unfortunate and couldn't keep up with the crowds, but that didn't happen. Walking up and down the stairs of the tube was “OMG
I see a white light and Jesus is coming for me” painful. I can bend the thing;
it’s not broken. But it is bruised and will be more purple tomorrow. Of
that, I am sure.
Above is the area I hobbled about.
Above are my very unsexy knees. The one on the right is the one I injured. It doesn't nearly look hideous enough for the amount of pain I was in. The whole thing should be black and blue and bloody!
You definitely need to add the pictures. It'll help the story. Maybe wait until they're even more bruised-looking for more effect. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh dear. Now there are two in our family with lower body impairment, although mine is by choice. Perhaps the chemist shop has a pain remedy, or the pub?
ReplyDelete